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In 2011, there were 6.1 marriages per 1000 people here in the great state of Washington. That same year, there were 4.1 divorces per 1000 people in my state. source Crazy, huh? Sounds like a lot of people are having trouble with their marriages.
What’s keeps some couples from getting divorced and no others? <Insert reasons for divorce here> but if we really get down to the nitty gritty, the real truth is that if more people were willing to work hard on their marriages we wouldn’t have an epidemic of broken homes.
I’ve been hurt in my marriage and I’ve hurt my husband. That’s the ugly – but honest – truth. But we’ve taken the hard steps to be honest with one another, get mentoring from couples who’ve been walking alongside us since we got married, and continually work on our relationship. And while there are tons of books out there on marriage – classics like Eggerich’s Love and Respect, new arrivals like Driscoll’s Real Marriage, and ones good for the secular and Christian crowd like Gottman’s Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, all of which we’ve read – they are all quite lengthy and overwhelming, especially if you don’t have the time (or support) to go through them in a meaningful way.
Enter Kayse Pratt’s short ebook Worth the Fight: Lessons Learned in a High-Maintenance Marriage. She addresses commitment, communication, service, laughter, and sex in her own marriage and leaves you with challenges and questions to help you apply lessons she’s learned to your own marriage. What’s great about how she writes is how conversational yet real her writing is. Below are a few of my favorite gems from each section.
Commitment regarding our God-defined roles in marriage
“We might mess up our roles every day, but that doesn’t change God’s intention. We must commit. We cannot be swayed.”
Communication regarding how we speak about our husbands
“Our words carry such weight, and it is crucial that we speak about our husbands in a positive light.”
Service regarding looking to the Lord to fill us up so we can serve our spouse
“And as you receive His love, you are full and free to love and serve your partner, without reservation.”
Laughter regarding why it’s so important, especially in high maintenance marriages
“Laughter brings lightness to an often difficult marriage, and begins to heal wounds. Truly, it does.”
Sex regarding letting go of the to-do list crowding your brain
“Enjoy your husband. Build that connection. Just be with him…do yourself a favor and train your mind to let go of your responsibilities for a while and live a little.”
Marriage takes work. Honest to goodness, dirt under your fingernails, work. But it’s totally worth it. Ben and I have discovered that over our 5 years of marriage and we’ve seen God’s faithfulness for years of work our parents and grandparents have put in. When couples are willing to let God love through them and work continually to forge a marriage that spans decades, If you like what you’re reading, you really should read the whole book [albeit on the shorter side, which is refreshing]. Click on the image to head over to her site!
What do you find most difficult about marriage? What makes you laugh the most? Comment below or contact me!